Live with an open mind, open heart, and open arms.

Confessions of a stay at home, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby food making, frugal mama.

Lately I’ve been asked a lot of questions about cloth diapering, so voila! I’ve decided to write a blog about my reasoning and the benefits to cloth diapering. The other day I was at the mall talking to another mother, and somehow the fact that I cloth diaper, breastfeed, and my daughter has never had baby food out of a jar came up… and she called me a hippie, in the nicest way possible. If that makes me a hippie, then I’m proud to be one!

First things first… Did you know that ONE of your disposable diapers takes 300 YEARS in a landfill to decompose? Let’s do a little math here: If your child is potty trained EARLY at the age of 2, goes through eh, let’s say 6 diapers a day (NOT including newborns going through 10-12 a day in their early months) that’s 2,190 diapers a year x 2 = 4,380 diapers if your child gets potty trained EARLY!!!! 4,380 diapers sitting in a landfill, each taking 300 YEARS TO DECOMPOSE! People, that’s ONE CHILD, ONE! And i’m understimating on everything! Secondly, the cost… On average with coupons let’s say you spend roughly $50 a month on disposables, okay, for two years that’s $1,200. Doesn’t sound that bad until you realized you just spent $1,200 on pure garbage, something that gets tossed in the garbage never to be reused ever again…. for what? Convenience?

I spent $400 on my cloth diaper stash, and this stash will last my daughter from birth to potty training, and if they’re well taken care of, they’ll last through my next children. Let’s say I have 3 children… If they are all potty trained by age 2, at $1,200 from birth to potty training, that’s $3,600 spent on disposables… Making more sense now? I just saved $3,200! And another amazing thing about cloth diapers? THEY CAN BE RESOLD AFTER YOU’RE DONE USING THEM! YES, THAT’S RIGHT!!! YOU CAN MAKE MONEY OFF OF THEM! I’ve never heard anyone say that about disposables! ;)

Disposable diapers also contain sodium polyacrylate, tributyl-tin, and traces of dioxin. All of these chemicals are known to be harmful to human health.

Did you also know, that cloth diapered children, on average, are potty trained earlier than children in disposables? Just another benefit to cloth diapering.

But wait, yet ANOTHER huge benefit to cloth diapering… When I was using disposables, my daughter had blowouts EVERY time she pooped, meaning, poop went out of the diaper, down her legs, and up her back, gross, right? I can’t even tell you how many outfits were stained and had to be thrown out, breastfed poop stains like CRAZY! With cloth diapers, I’ve never had one single blowout unless her dad put the diaper on wrong… Which yes, he has.

I haven’t even mentioned the fact that cloth diapers are SO STINKIN’ CUTE! They come in a million different colors and patterns!

Here’s a few questions I get asked weekly about cloth diapering:

“Isn’t it a lot of work to cloth diaper?”

I won’t lie, it’s not easier than using disposables, it’s quite a bit of extra work. I wash my cloth diapers twice a week… That includes taking apart my cloth diapers filled with pee and bits of poop, doing one cold wash, then one hot wash, line drying the covers and shells (which usually takes 8ish hours) and throwing the inserts in the dryer.

“Isn’t it DISGUSTING having to wash a diaper filled with poop?!!!”

First off, breastfed poop is water soluble, meaning you don’t have to rinse the diaper after your infant poops in it, you just throw it into the wash. At the age my daughter is at now, she has started solids meaning her poop is thicker… I take her diapers and shake them over the toilet and it goes right in! There’s also something nifty called a diaper sprayer that attaches to your toilet and you just spray the poop off into the toilet… I prefer to not spend $40 on one, but it’s a personal preference. To me, no, it’s not disgusting.

“Is it worth it?”

That depends on your definition of ‘worth it’. Do you care about the environment and care that one of your disposables is sitting in a landfill for 300 years? Do you want to save money? If you answered yes to those questions, you won’t even care about the extra work, and yes, it will be worth it. In my opinion cloth diapers are also way more comfortable for your child… would you rather sit in a soft piece of cloth or would you rather sit in crinkly paper all day?

“$400 seems like a LOT of money to start up a stash for your baby all in one pop!”

Do you know how much you’ll save? $400 is nothing compared to how much you spend on disposables… Don’t you remember me doing the math for you up there? ^^^ Also, my stash is a bit on the spendier side… If you want, you can cloth diaper from birth to potty training for as little as $100 or as much as $3,000! (Yes, there are some diaper brands that are $50 per diaper)

“What is in your cloth diaper stash?”

I only use bumgenius diapers. I have 20 pocket diapers which are the most like disposable diapers… only… you don’t throw them out you wash them. They’re easy for dads and for grandparents or babysitters. They tend to be on the spendier side. The other half of my stash is prefolds and covers, the most basic cloth diaper, the ones your parents probably used, or the ones you see in the movies that you’d never want to use, haha. They look like this:

That’s the prefold that goes inside of the waterproof diaper cover.

Then I also have a few extra inserts that you stuff in your overnight cloth diaper, yes, you can leave a cloth diaper on your child for 12 hours! And nope I haven’t had one leak!

^That’s one year worth of disposable diapers.

If you have any more questions and are considering cloth diapering, feel free to ask.

Another question I get asked is why I decided to make my daughter’s food instead of just buying it from the store. And here are a few of the reasons:

1.) I know EXACTLY what is going into my daughters tummy.

2.) I can choose whether it’s completely organic, pesticide, and preservative free.

3.) It’s better for the environment, less packaging and plastic waste.

4.) COST… The first time I made my daughter’s baby food, I spend 40 cents on a large sweet potato, that lasted a whole week for her. 40 cents for an entire weeks worth of babyfood? That’s less than the cost of just ONE jar of gerber baby food from the store.

I only spend about 1-2 hours a week preparing my daughter’s food, and that normally lasts the whole week. To store food all you do is put the prepared and pureed food into cube trays, freeze, cover, then thaw when needed! These are a few of her favorite foods.

This website helped me out a lot:

http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/

There you will find a ton of recipes, and the average ages to start certain foods.

Hopefully this helped out a bit, if not, let me know and I’ll answer any more of your questions!

God’s not-so-subtle, beautiful, smacks in the face.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy, and where theives break in and steal; but store up for yourself treasures in heaven, where neither moth and rust destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” http://www.ajesuschurch.org/topic?id=858&c=1190#870

Matthew 6:19-34, listen to this 40 minute sermon if you get a chance.

He spoke to our hearts last night and helped us realize how selfishly we spend our money and our time, we complain about not having a home we own, not being able to go out and eat every night, not being able to have a closet full of the nicest clothing, when there are starving children who don’t even HAVE a roof over their head, they don’t have anything to eat for days, they don’t have more than one pair of pants. We need to give more and expect less. We are rich beyond belief, and this world keeps telling us we need more, that we don’t have enough. John Mark used these examples last night, talking about storing treasures on earth vs. heaven.

“You have an extra 30 dollars in your budget, option a.) you can go tanning, and that tan won’t last very long… option b.) you take that 30 dollars and sponsor a child. You save a child, not only from poverty, but from ‘lostness’ from God, and he or she comes into a living relationship with God. How long will that child last?”

Sometimes I look at my daughter, happy, well fed, warm, wearing several different outfits a DAY… and it kills me knowing that there are infants her SAME AGE dying from starvation, clothed in dirty rags, freezing. And I’m doing nothing to help… Stuck in my own world worrying about how I’m going to buy gifts for Christmas for my family.

Another example he used was this

“A father can work 11 or 12 hour work days, work saturdays, stay nights, to be able to purchase that expensive car, only to ignore his family, and come home every night to children who are already asleep. He gives his life, his time, to make more money, to make more sales, he makes his life pursuit to get that car… How long is that car going to last? How long will that car stay nice?
or
A father can work 8, 9, 10 hours a day and go home and play with his kids, read the scriptures to his kids before they go to bed, pray over them, be with them. How long will his relationship with his children last? Forever. Jesus says feel free to store up treasures on earth, but it’s all passing away right now as we speak, there’s another way to live, where your treasures are in God, and your joy starts now and lasts into eternity.” I loved last night’s sermon, I love when God speaks loudly to you and your family. A few weeks ago I wrote a letter to my husband about how I was feeling, about how worry and ‘things’ seemed as if they were becoming more important and bigger than our family, and last night’s sermon God spoke to us and brought me back to this letter I wrote… I wrote this when I was feeling like I wanted to throw in the towel, when I was starting to consider having Ellamae’s grandma or grandpa watch her for 8 or 9 hours a day so I could work so we could have more ‘things’ and be ‘happier’, then God spoke to me and that’s when he gave me that not-so-subtle, beautiful, smack in the face.

(There is NOTHING wrong with working, there is NOTHING wrong with both parents working to provide for their family, it’s when the main reason you’re working long hard hours is to buy nicer, bigger things in exchange for spending any time with your family is what i’m talking about in this letter, things that I, personally feel convicted about, not everyone feels the same way, and these are my own feelings and my own beliefs and my OWN convictions, do what YOU feel is best for your family. and I understand that not everyone HAS the opportunity to stay at home with their children, such as single mothers, and you working hard to provide for you and your children is a beautiful wonderful GODLY thing!)

“Do you know why I wanted be a stay at home mother? Because it goes against worldy views. It is one of the most selfless, Godly things i’ve seen a woman do for her child and I knew that it was something I wanted to do if the Lord blessed me with a husband that could provide enough for our family in order for me to stay home. Today’s society tells us that our luxuries are more important than our family. That both parents in the family NEED to be working 40-50-60 hour work weeks to provide luxury and ‘fun’ and expensive things for your family. Why in today’s society does providing luxuries for your family come before spending time with them? The most important thing you can do for a child, is give them your love, your time. No job or amount of extra money to me is worth more than the time I could spend with our children. Why would you allow someone else or a daycare raise your child just so you can have the things this world tells you that you need more of. I want to be the one to calm her when she cries, hold her hand when she needs comfort, sing her a song when she wants to hear a familiar voice, teach her the things that need to be taught, help her take her first steps, make her laugh, change her, bathe her when she needs to be cleaned, nurture her when she needs to be held close, be there when she wants her mother, heal her when she’s sick. Why would I depend on our parents or a stranger to do these things? So I can have a nicer car, a bigger house, more clothing? When our children grow up I want them to remember the days we spent with them, fighting together as a family, praying together as a family, leaning on the Lord together as a family. I want them to see how we fought to be there for them every waking moment we could and that we sacrificed as a family the things we wanted, to give them the things they needed, us. I want to live more simply, I want the joy of family, not the joy of something tangible I can have for a short while until it’s time to be thrown out. I want to give until I can’t give anymore, I want to give until it hurts. I need to. I need to fulfill my duties as a mother, as a wife. Family is the biggest blessing from the Lord on this earth. I want us to need our family, not nicer things, but our family, our future children. I want our family to bring us happiness rather than the clothes on our back, the things in our home, the car in our driveway. Those things may be impressive to our friends but they are not impressive to God.”

Thank You Lord, for reminding me how important family is, and how blessed I am for this opportunity you’ve given me, and that it is something that shouldn’t be taken for granted.

Everything I could have ever imagined and more.

These last 3 weeks have been difficult, rough, painful, tiresome, but they have been the best 3 weeks of my life, thus far. I was warned about the pains you go through after having your child, I was warned about the sleepless nights, I was warned about the screaming and crying, but I was never warned about the emotions I would feel after holding my baby girl for the first time, those feelings are something I will never forget and those feelings are what will stick with me in my heart and mind for the rest of my life.

Giving birth was the most serene, rewarding, fulfilling, beautiful, and amazing experience. Chris stood behind me while my mother and my sister Brandy held back my legs as I pushed during every contraction. I remember feeling a total calm, no stress, no fear, just complete calm and complete silence, almost like it was just Ella and I in the room. I remember those few words spoken while giving birth right before I had my little girl… They were, “Are you ready to have a baby?” Her head was crowning and with one more big push Ellamae was born and thrown into my arms at 9:18 am. My body and my emotions and my soul took complete control over me. There was so much joy all at once, I felt like I couldn’t breath. This little girl who I had been growing in my tummy for 9 months was finally here, all 7 pounds and 8 ounces of her. My body shook and I cried harder than I ever had, tears of joy and happiness. In that moment nothing else mattered, I could have died that very moment and my life would have been complete, complete and fulfilled. The moment I saw her, I wondered how I ever lived without her. I could never live without her, and because of her, I’ll never be the same. She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and the best part of me.

I remember after bringing her home I would lay and stare at her for hours, watching her chest rise and fall, listening to her tiny whimpers, my mind would race and I would think, “Is this real? Do I really have her? What if I’m just sleeping, I don’t want to wake up, I don’t want this to all just be a dream, I couldn’t handle it.” Almost as if it were all too good to be true, I felt so undeserving of her, undeserving of her love. I found myself praying for the first time in a while, praying for her safety and her health, and that I would wake up in the morning and she’d still be right beside me. I had never feared losing something so much in my life, it was so overwhelming but in the most beautiful way.

These past few weeks have been spent growing and learning with my husband, none of it has been easy, but it’s been so much fun. No more counting down the days until she’s here… She’s here, and it’s time to watch her grow.

Thank you Christopher Joseph for making every dream of mine come true. You are the best father in the world and you are more than I could have ever hoped and prayed and dreamed for. I love you.

Finding beauty in your body after birth.

“A mark for every breath you took, every blink, every sleepy yawn. One for every time you sucked your thumb, waved hello, closed your eyes and slept in the most perfect darkness. One for every time you had the hiccups. One for every dream you dreamed with me.

It isn’t very pretty anymore. Some may even think it’s ugly. That’s OK. It was your home. It’s where I first grew to love you, where I lay my hand as I dreamed about who you were and who you would be. It held you until my arms could, and for that I will always find something beautiful in it.”

I love you Ellamae Grace. Every day spent throwing up, every day spent in pain, every day spent worrying about you, every mark I received on my body, was worth it. My heart grew all because of 10 little fingers and 10 little toes. You are my sweet, perfect girl.